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As you might have noticed, this here blog is one big archive of the ramblings of an insane author. So insane, in fact, that I wouldn't be surprised if you went mad just reading said blog...Good luck ;)

Directory

I lied. This is not, in fact, a "directory" as the title above might suggest...This is merely a warning of what you might find on this blog. I believe I have already warned you of the insane ramblings archived in this blog, but I must say, if you are not prepared for the tomfooleries that can be found here, you might just want to close this tab, shut your computer down, and walk away slowly in order to keep your OWN sanity in check. Fair warning >;)

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Blond Jokes

Here are a few funny blond jokes:

"How do you drown a blond? Just glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool."

"How do a blonds brain cells die? They die alone."

"What do you call a smart blond? A Labrador Retriever."

"A blond goes into a building, and goes up to the clerk at the counter, and says, 'I would like a burger, fries and a chocolate shake.' The clerk leans forward and says, 'ma'am, this is a library.' The blond looks confused, and then nods as it hits her. 'Oh!' she says, then lowers her voice to a whisper, 'I would like a burger, fries and a chocolate shake'."

"Three woman are stranded on an island, one blond, one brunette, and one red-headed. They manage to find a genie, and he says, 'I will grant each of you one wish, but be careful: I will not take them back.' The brunette raises to the occasion, getting to be the first to wish. 'I wish I were with my family.' and poof, she disappears. The red-head steps up next, and says, 'I wish a big boat would come and rescue me.' And poof, a boat appears, and she runs off and sails away, rescued at last. Now it's the blonds turn, and she steps up to the genie. 'gosh, it's lonely now...' She says, with a sad face. Then she perks up suddenly. 'I know! I wish my friends were here again.' And poof, the brunette and red-head appear again, stuck on the island once more..."

"Three blonds were walking through a forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blond said, 'those are deer tracks.'
The second blond said, 'no, those are elk tracks.'
The third blond said, 'no, you're both wrong. Those are moose tracks.'
The blonds were still arguing when the train hit them."

"How do you keep a blond busy for hours?
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"What do you get when you put seven blonds in a freezer? Frosted Flakes."

"How to trouble a blond: Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool."

Anyway, I'll stop now or else we'll be here all day. Some of these jokes I have known for years, and some I have looked up and gotten from the internet. The first three at the top I got from the Twilight saga, but I've also seen them online, so it's not really like I'm stealing them. And don't worry, I'll do a blog for brunette jokes soon...
Blog ya later, Miss Eccentric.

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