Feelings of Inadequacy...

Alright, so obviously I haven't been really diligent with my postings for a while now, and this honestly bothers me...I used to post every three to four days, whether I was busy or not. I would always find the time, but nowadays it seems that I just don't really know what to blog about all the time, and I'm always worried that when I do have an idea, it's not going to be humorous, or have one of my infamous paranoid rants in it...So needless to say, I've been wanting to try and change this attitude. Also the fact that I have finished my novel, and therefore have more free time to blog, really makes me want to try again. However, the real turning point here was when my dear friend Saphira (holla at you girl!) sent me a link to this really funny blog. It's called Hyperbole And A Half, and truly the woman who writes it (Allie Brosh) is a humor genius. She uses this plain-old Paint program to illustrate her funny stories, and really, this just makes me feel completely inadequate. So, to show you all just how this has made me feel, I have decided to somewhat mimic (not steal, Allie Brosh said herself that if someone was to do sort of the same thing it's not stealing unless I completely copy a post or idea of hers, but to make a Paint character is not copying) her style by creating my own Paint illustrations, with my own style and my own story and my own words. Just for fun, and to put me back in the mood by changing-it-up every once in a while. So...

Okay, before, when I was writing my novel and blogging regularly, I felt like I was on top of the world, like I could tackle anything and come out the other end as the victor...

 (Yes, my hair really has green streaks in it. I tried to make it bright turquoise, but my hair hates me and decided to be faded-green instead)

Then, I became so caught up in my novel and finishing it, because I wanted to win at writing and being young and having my first novel, so I took a break from blogging. And I felt good at first! That is, until I finished my novel, and I got the post-novel letdown...And to top it all off, I was just recently at a bookstore, buying some books that I've been wanting and browsing for new authors, when I found this really interesting book. It's called Halo, and it's written by an eighteen-year-old girl named Alexandra Adornetto. And to top that all off, this girl was first published when she was fourteen. Yes, you read right. Fourteen. This shook me to my core, and completely burst my little ego-bubble.

This worried me. I mean, if this girl was published at fourteen and now has a reputation and is making her way across seas from Australia, what's so amazing about a nineteen-year-old who wrote a novel in America? I mean, I'm an adult. It's quite amazing when young teens do stuff like finish novels because they're young, and really, the young people don't often do grown-up things like that. But that no longer applies to me. It's not so amazing now because most adults have accomplished stuff like I have, more even! It's quite disheartening, and quite frankly made me feel completely inadequate...

 (To show just how bad this made me feel, I have purposefully spelled "inadequate" wrong in my illustration, indicating that I was so upset that I didn't think I was worthy of trying to be perfect anymore...)

I didn't know what I should do. I mean, I wanted to be accomplished! I wanted my two years of novel-writing (which I could have used for being a bratty-teen, but didn't because I wanted to make a difference) to mean something! I wanted people to recognize the fact that not all girls my age had the maturity and the determination to do something as amazing as writing a whole fiction novel that is quite large indeed! But I just kept thinking, "it's too late, I'm too old now..."
 This changed when I saw Allie's blog. It was so awesome that I just had to go back and read her earlier posts. I read all of 2010's posts and some of her 2009 posts. And it turns out, not too long ago she wasn't even that popular! All she started with were some funny stories and some dorky little drawings, and that's all she had! She didn't even have a job, she admits it herself! But through perseverance and humor, she somehow managed to become so popular and accomplished that she has several thousand followers and now gets money and is super awesome and (as she would say) has almost won the internet. And it got me thinking...

And it's true! I mean, how many nineteen-year-old's do you know that have committed their lives to one thing at such an early age, without changing their minds a million times? I have written a whole novel. I am nineteen, and I have done something that most people my age and sometimes older have no attention-span to actually finish. And you know what? I'm proud of myself, and (to quote my new fave blogger) I want to win the internet, too! Or, if not win, at least come in a close second behind Miss Allie Brosh!!! So, in conclusion, this is my way of saying that I want to blog more. I might not blog all the time, because I want a life too, but I want to make it a habit to come up with more than one blog a month. It's the least I can do for myself as a young writer, to spread my fingertips and type! So wish me luck, fellow bloggers, and Happy Reading!

Blog ya undoubtedly sooner rather than later, Miss Eccentric.

P.S. I apologize for the last drawing here being too large and hanging over the edge of the post like that...However, if I made it any smaller you wouldn't be able to see the writing on it, so I suppose it will just have to do.