Welcome, to all of those insane enough to walk this blog!

As you might have noticed, this here blog is one big archive of the ramblings of an insane author. So insane, in fact, that I wouldn't be surprised if you went mad just reading said blog...Good luck ;)

Directory

I lied. This is not, in fact, a "directory" as the title above might suggest...This is merely a warning of what you might find on this blog. I believe I have already warned you of the insane ramblings archived in this blog, but I must say, if you are not prepared for the tomfooleries that can be found here, you might just want to close this tab, shut your computer down, and walk away slowly in order to keep your OWN sanity in check. Fair warning >;)

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Farts: we all do them 2

Okay, so I thought up a few more farts, so here they are: (As my aunt in the big damn bus of a home put so kindly) there's the P*ssy, or Crotch fart, which is when you're (well, only us women as far as I know) sitting, and you fart, and it creeps up to the front and gets stuck there so you have to wiggle in your seat to get it out; there are popcorn farts, the ones that burn on the way out (ever hear the expression, "hotter than a popcorn fart"? No? Well, now you have), and have a certain "unique" smell to them; and then there are the hot-dog farts, which not only can burn on the way out like a popcorn fart, but also have their very own "special" scent. The only way to tell the difference between a popcorn fart and a hot-dog fart, is the smell: the hint? Hot-dog farts always smell like hot-dogs, while popcorn farts do not.
Okay, so that's all I got, but if you think of one, let me know and I'll post about it (maybe).
Blog ya later, Miss Eccentric.
P.S. I almost forgot! My dad went browsing for other classifications of farts after he read my blog, and he found a really funny fart site, that sadly but truly dwarfs my small little blog, but whatever. I just thought it would be nice and mature of me to post a link of said fart site, so ya'll didn't think I hid it from you just because I knew it was better than my blog and I was jealous to think that you would think that my blog totally sucked because the fart site is totally much better than my wee-bitty little tiny blog about farts that is so not as cool as their giant fart site about farts that's better than my fart post of farts and besides I thought that maybe you would stay loyal to me and check it out and even if it is so totally better than my fart post of farts you'll still say that my fart post of farts is better than their not-so-sucky fart site of farts that's so much better than my fart site of farts, so here's the link: Link.
*deep breath*
Yeah, I know. That made total sense. Right? (F.Y.I, if you're wondering, I said fart/farts thirty-two times, including when I said fart/farts just now, twice. Well, okay, since I said it in the labels thingy whatsit, that would make it thirty-eight, which is significantly slightly more)
And wow, this is like, the longest P.S. I have ever done. It just keeps getting longer and longer and longer!!! And look, I'm making it even longer by saying that I keep making it longer and longer and longer!!! I had better stop, before I have to enter this P.S. message in the Guinness World Records, seeing as this is the longest P.S. ever!!! Okay, I'm going to stop. Really, I am. I'm gonna stop, I swear! What, you don't believe that I'll stop sooner or later? Because I will. In fact, I'm gonna stop right-
OMG, I can't stop. How come I can't stop? I guess I'll just have to go cold-turkey, and just stop typing in the middle of-

5 comments:

  1. Wow... I can't believe of all the posts this is the one I start off reading hahahaha. How did you get those cool fish and hamster and stuff on your profile? I want to decorate mine lol. :)

    And your fart posts are definitely better than theirs. I will not admit to knowing what any or all of these are, either. Haha! :D And I love your never ending ps- I totally do that sometimes! Ok, back to writing... or attempting to at least.

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  2. All you have to do to get the hamster and fishies is go to Customize, and then go to Add A Gadget, and then go to Most Popular, and you'll find the fish towards the top. I think I clicked on the little search thingy in the Gadgets area and type "Hamster", and it came up with a few different choices. I chose the one tha says, "Hamster Cute pet
    This lively pet hamster will keep you company throughout the day. Watch him run on his wheel, drink water, and eat the food you feed him by clicking your mouse. Click the center of the wheel to make him get back on it. .!" on it. Sadly though, I totally forgot how I customized the colors...I'll see what I can do, though...

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  3. Okay, I have back-tracked, and it turns out I went to this site:
    http://abowman.com/google-modules/hamster/#gadgetSWF
    Just copy and paste that into your search engine, and that should bring you to the place where I got to customize my hamster. Tada! Aren't I awesome?
    Teehee, M.E.

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  4. You for got the most important fart, Brain fart. Although no smell is present, some times you can see steam shooting out your ears. BBB

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  5. Ha ha, you're right! Brain farts are the worst!

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