Evidently, because of the icecaps melting, there will be a new ice age. Huh? Does that make any sense to you? So, because of global warming, we're going to have an ice age? I have to say, this is not the strangest thing people have been trying to tell us through the years, despite the fact that their "hot ice age" does not compute with me at all. Every time you watch the news, they tell you something new that is hazardous to our health. Like, for instance, milk. They used to say that milk was bad for you, and you shouldn't drink it too much. Now they're telling us that milk is good for you, and helps you lose weight if you drink a glass a day. "What? You just told me it was bad for me not too long ago!" And diet sodas. That's my favorite (one of them). They say that diet sodas are soo good for you (at least better than regular sodas), but in reality, the fake sugar that they use to replace the real kind, is worse for you than the real stuff. You see, your body doesn't quite know what to do with the fake sugar, so it can cause all sorts of problems, and evidently, some chemical that they use in it can even cause cancer. So you're thinking, "wholly crap! I'm gonna get cancer because I use that fake sugar crap in everything?!?" Not to worry, as long as you eat plenty of hot peppers, I think you'll be fine. Did you know that the capsaicin in a hot pepper is being used as a possible cure for cancer? There have been studies on it, and it has shrunk the size of tumors in test mice. And, it's good for pain. I like spicy foods, so I'm gonna eat a whole lot, and maybe I wont get cancer. Also, how about a few years back they had the all-meat diet? Where you eat nothing but meat, and that's supposed to help you lose weight. And it turns out, the people that did that diet ended up having really high cholesterol. Ooh, smart! I want to go on that diet!!! Oh, and garlic! They say that garlic is bad for you, when really, it's not. Or how about how they complain that people need to take care of their homes, and yet, when you try to wash your driveway down, they complain that you're using too much water. Or, "you're killing the environment! But if you buy one of our fancy hybrid cars, you'll save the environment!" How are we supposed to afford to buy one of those expensive cars anyway? What, they think we're made of money? Or they think we want to wait a year on a waiting list for one of those ugly cars? They do that! They make you wait on a waiting list, because they cant make them fast enough! And they are ugly. At least, in my opinion they are. Or, "we should all plant fruits and vegetables in our yard, to save the environment!" But, "don't use too much water!" WE LIVE IN CALIFORNIA! HOW DO YOU EXPECT US TO KEEP ANY PLANTS ALIVE IN CALIFORNIA WITHOUT WATERING THEM A WHOLE BUNCH!!! Sigh...I just think this "going green" crap is just that. Crap. Now don't get me wrong, I do want to treat our environment better, but how am I supposed to do that with all the contradictions in how to do that? Every time they tell us to do a certain thing to help the environment, they come up with some law, or other suggestion on how to "save the planet" that completely contradicts the last suggestion! Like, "don't use so much electricity!" But, "don't use gas, or coal!" How are we supposed to do anything without one or the other? How are we supposed to drive one of their cars that we payed a fortune for, and waited a year to get, if they don't want us to use too much electricity? Or how about my personal favorite (another one), where they do not have Albuterol rescue inhalers available here anymore, because they are "hurting our ozone layer"? How are my family and I going to breath right if we cant get refills for our inhalers? First you give us asthma, because we are the most polluted in America, then you take away our inhalers! Thanks, L.A.! From the bottom of our hearts, we thank you for screwing us to the wall, and leaving us for dead!
See you in the hospital (if you can afford it), Miss Eccentric.
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